I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
