I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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