im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
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the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee