The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
