The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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