Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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