So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize