I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
this will be a night to untag.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
