Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
