And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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