You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
