Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  Hey man sorry I got all grabby

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  (972): Hey man sorry I got all grabby http://tfl.nu/1c4w
  Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (706)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.

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  (231): i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future. http://tfl.nu/hfoa
  Replies (1) Good night (966) Bad night (1311)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

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  (940): That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone http://tfl.nu/w4ug
  Replies (3) Good night (734) Bad night (1756)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  so... how was it???

  (317): View more from Indiana

  he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy

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  (812): so... how was it??? (317): he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy http://tfl.nu/a6k1
  Replies (14) Good night (584) Bad night (2933)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.

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  (402): Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this. http://tfl.nu/da6y
  Replies (48) Good night (611) Bad night (3905)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is

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  (613): i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is http://tfl.nu/6noa
  Replies (16) Good night (676) Bad night (3408)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick

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  (910): I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick http://tfl.nu/ykrr
  Replies (23) Good night (636) Bad night (5671)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment

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  (207): you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment http://tfl.nu/wssq
  Replies (82) Good night (1219) Bad night (5502)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.

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  (248): Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks. http://tfl.nu/vf46
  Replies (89) Good night (1434) Bad night (22475)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off

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  (862): dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off http://tfl.nu/s9m5
  Replies (4) Good night (2603) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  You're welcome.

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  (541): Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes. (1-541): You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/axhz
  Replies (6) Good night (2209) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.

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  (360): She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake. http://tfl.nu/n9ny
  Replies (7) Good night (450) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

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  (847): it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED http://tfl.nu/8bov
  Replies (6) Good night (2054) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  RESPECT THE VODQUILA

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  (206): I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again (1-206): RESPECT THE VODQUILA http://tfl.nu/on0c
  Replies (4) Good night (1363) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?

  (512): View more from Texas

  It was just one of those nights, man.

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  (512): I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something. (1-512): Why was his mouth around your nose anyways? (512): It was just one of those nights, man. http://tfl.nu/4s6y
  Replies (2) Good night (383) Bad night (627)

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