Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.