Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I have demons in me.

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  (757): I have demons in me. http://tfl.nu/h6bj
  Replies (12) Good night (1076) Bad night (1538)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.

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  (215): At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware. http://tfl.nu/07cm
  Replies (33) Good night (3010) Bad night (828)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck

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  (773): i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck http://tfl.nu/4030
  Replies (24) Good night (4836) Bad night (1012)
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  (530): View more from California

  Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.

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  (530): Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls. http://tfl.nu/qy86
  Replies (27) Good night (829) Bad night (7321)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.

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  (973): we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle. http://tfl.nu/il9h
  Replies (33) Good night (8167) Bad night (1499)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up

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  (920): he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up http://tfl.nu/v5zl
  Replies (23) Good night (8094) Bad night (1188)
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  (805): View more from California

  You are such a cockblock sometimes

  (661): View more from California

  You NEED a cockblock sometimes

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  (805): You are such a cockblock sometimes (661): You NEED a cockblock sometimes http://tfl.nu/zl8e
  Replies (10) Good night (4645) Bad night (1057)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.

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  (317): The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures. http://tfl.nu/juvj
  Replies (8) Good night (2796) Bad night (584)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors

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  (315): I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors http://tfl.nu/1c0w
  Replies (8) Good night (2028) Bad night (560)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"

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  (573): He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut" http://tfl.nu/oeuu
  Replies (3) Good night (1218) Bad night (485)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently

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  (601): The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently http://tfl.nu/6pjr
  Replies (1) Good night (331) Bad night (649)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.

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  (412): wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/kdfi
  Replies (4) Good night (411) Bad night (795)
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  (310): View more from California

  Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests

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  (310): Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests http://tfl.nu/hq9w
  Replies (0) Good night (685) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again

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  (814): My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again http://tfl.nu/inh4
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (322)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!

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  (301): Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?! http://tfl.nu/4qzs
  Replies (1) Good night (206) Bad night (275)

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