since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
