used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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