Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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