so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
