The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
