peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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