Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
