apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
