the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
