Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the day after is always just damage control
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
