I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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