That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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