I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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