i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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