I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
