Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
