My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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