they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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