Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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