is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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