So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
