i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
