Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.