My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
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would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.