Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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