i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
