I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.