she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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