Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
