and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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