i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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