Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
