DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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