She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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