Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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