you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
