This is not my ceiling
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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