Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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