I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
