Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
