I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
