Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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