WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
