I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
