that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do vagina's smell?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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