I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
