I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize