He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
