was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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