We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
