its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
