I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
