you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
