Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i think my cat just said my name.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
