he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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