i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize