is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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